Thriller?

A remarkable discovery was uncovered following the refurbishment of the 5 Star Rated Beer Hall kitchen. This extremely rare cassette was recovered from behind the dishwasher and it is believed to have belonged to Audrey Boyt who is keen on astrophysics.

Many people are unaware that Michael Jackson was such a big fan of Stephen Hawking but it is widely believed that his interest in physics began when he was researching methods of becoming a whiter shade of pale.

His song ‘Remember the time’ is a homage to Hawking, though Stephen did decline Michael’s offer to share his bed, being more interested in light cones and the Doppler effect.

The cassette being interjected with ooh oohs and cries of bad and earth song became a best seller and is regarded as a classic!

Assassination plot discovered….

A meaningful plot was uncovered in the peaceful surroundings of the Beer Garden .

A man who was once regarded as the most powerful ruler in the area was cut down in the most brutal fashion.

Matters took an ugly turn after he was accused of corruption and nepotism,and most importantly his attempt to be crowned King.

One of the rulers most ardent supporters having praised him at the scene of his demise was heard to utter to himself “Now let it work, Mischief, thou art afoot. Take thou what course thou will.”

This in the vain hope that the conspirators would be hunted down!

Mr April searches for Beer Garden

Whilst searching for new Beer Garden’s your intrepid reporters companion, Mr April, decided to look into the possibility of opening a pets corner in the Beer Garden.

With no fear for his own safety he waded into a morass to research this new development. Having survived this encounter it’s been declared an objective to be placed before the horticultural Committee Below is a closeup of the ponies.

90 Years a Chinese New Year

After the 90th birthday celebrations on Saturday night members taking the air were astonished to witness a celestial firework display as the Chinese space station entered atmosphere above the Beer Garden .

Miraculously nobody was injured as the debris rained down on the beer garden though the neighbours bean canes were destroyed perhaps ruining his chances of winning a prize in this years eagerly awaited horticultural show which will for the second year running be sponsored by Beer Garden Weekly .

We thank the Chinese for celebrating the 90th anniversary and to show solidarity with their new lifetime president we will commemorate the year of the dog by cocking our legs.

Guided Tours around the Beer Garden

Following on from the news that the Beer Garden is to feature in the new Civilisations series the Horticultural Committee is considering offering expert led guided walks of this incredible site. Initially both Dan Snow and Mary Beard were approached to give a guided walk on the 28th March but after more detailed talks Dan decided that the archaeology of the site was too complex and Mary said she was washing her hair that day.

The walk would start at the far south eastern corner of the site at a place marked with a red pole. The reason for this structure, and it is man made, has been forgotten but there is a theory that before people could read or write this was used as a marker post where prisoners for transportation would await collection by a suitable vehicle.

Walking northwards and looking down to our right, our attention is drawn to numerous seemingly random markings on the ground, straight lines and diagonals converge in a confusion of directions. It is unclear what purpose these lines had but drawing from Erich Von Daniken’s excellent book we can surmise these strange patterns were made by extra terrestrials as airfields for their space ships (see Nazca Lines in Chariots of the Gods) and their aim was to bring technology and religion to our ancient ancestors. There is no doubt had Daniken known about the Beer Garden it would have been the subject one of his books. At this point we must allow our walkers a chance to draw their own conclusions or indeed lines.

Election Success for President

Beer Garden Weekly readers will be delighted to know that the Horticultural Committee has begun electing its new leadership team.

In addition to the election continuing, Beer Garden Weekly in the spirit of “fairness and balance” would like to commend the success of an open non-fraud based election in Russia last weekend.

Well done to Vladimir Putin on extending his leadership of Russia as either President or Prime Minister for 19 years.

Top Hat Craze

Beer Garden Weekly comrades were “a head” of themselves with the news that it was alleged by Corbyn supports that his hat was adjusted to make him more Russian during the recent Russia vs UK tensions.

As all readers know that Beer Garden Weekly is the main stream media of fair and balanced news and we would never display photos which could give an unfair impression. So please see a slightly different image below.

Inspired Beer Garden

Beer Garden Weekly’s very own correspondent armed with his trusty stick ventured deep into the New Forest and came across this fine example of an empty beer garden Regular readers should begin to petition the Horticultural Committee for something of a comparable design to be erected in the spring.

Your roving reporters new motto is: “Have stick will travel”.